2. If you are in charge of the BBQ, you are not a chef, you are a control freak.
3. If you are a stewardess on an airplane and you are being served, then who is serving you?
4. When I am telling you a story and you respond to it by saying, "Oh", you might as well say, "That was not interesting. I am going to stop this conversation right now".
5. I do not need a minute-to-minute update on what is going on in your equally uneventful and mundane life.
1:17 am: Brrr. I am cold.
1:17:09 am: Nevermind. I put on my snuggie!
1:17:33 am: Oh nos! Now I am too hot.
1:17:49 am: I've thought about it, and a snuggie is essentially a robe you put on backwards.
1:18 am: Goodnight!
1:21 am: I can't sleep! What movie should I put on instead?
1:22 am: No thanks, George! I am NOT watching 28 Days Later to sleep...again! LOLz
1:22:54 am: I'm going to finish writing the song I started yesterday. Can anyone help me rhyme "you broke my heart so bad"
1:23:18 am: Finished!
Thank you, Facebook for letting me get to know that one cute girl who sat in my section last semester. Only now do I know that I did not make a mistake by never talking to her in person.